Setting: A living room with couch, table and other accessories, such as picture frames or flower pots. Dorothy is dressed casually, with some kind of fuzzy slippers.

Dorothy: (enters, looks down an imaginary hall and speaks to her children ) Settle down and go to sleep kids! Mommy needs a nap, and I can’t nap if you don’t nap! (yells in desperation) Now please, lay down and go to sleep!

(sinks wearily onto the couch, looks up to heaven) I love my kids God, but I’m going crazy! You know in my heart that I really wouldn’t trade them for anything but on days like this, I swear, I’d almost consider it!

Am I the only woman who has ever felt this way? All the other moms seem to have it so "together." How do they do it? How do they stay so sane? (yawns)

(notices a package sitting on a nearby table) Oh, I forgot all about this. I wonder what my mom is sending me this time. (she opens the package and takes out a dvd) The Wizard of Oz! I haven’t seen this since I was a little girl. This was one of my favorites.

(reflectively) "There’s no place like home." (pause) Hmm, maybe I’ll watch this while the kids are asleep. (yawns) Or maybe it can wait ‘til tomorrow. (lays down) I think I’ll rest my eyes for just a few minutes. (pause, then mumbles).... There’s no place like...this very soft, comfortable couch...

Dorothy: (opening her eyes) That does it! Janie, Jimmy, I told you to quit goofing around and go to sleep! (gets up, sees the Baker and screams. The baker then screams, then Dorothy again, then the Baker)

Enough! (calming down) Who are you? How did you get into my house? What do you want?

Baker: (she tries to escape, but keeps bumping into things) I’m sorry, truly I am! I don’t mean any harm!

Dorothy: (recognizing her) Hey, wait a minute, aren’t you the lady who owns the bakery in town?

Baker: (she talks to the couch) Yes ma’am, I am.

Dorothy: (waves her hand) You hoo, I’m over here.

Baker: (turns to face Dorothy) Sorry.

Dorothy: I thought I recognized you.

Baker: If I may ask ma’am, where am I exactly?

Dorothy: Well, you’re in my house.

Baker: Oh. (pause) And who might you be ma’am?

Dorothy: Will you stop calling me ma’am? I’m not much older than you for goodness sakes! My name is Dorothy.

Baker: Nice to meet you Dorothy.

Dorothy: Now, would you mind telling me why you broke into my house and scared me half to death?

Baker: I’m not sure how I ended up here ma’am (Dorothy gives her a dirty look) I mean, Ms. Dorothy. I’m afraid my sense of perspective (points to her glasses) isn’t too good. I was trying to find the Wizard and I ended up here instead.

Dorothy: (confused) The Wizard?

Baker: Yes, the Wizard of Aaahhs. (Every time the word "aaahhs" is mentioned throughout the skit, it is long and drawn out to really emphasize it)

Dorothy: The Wizard of Oz?

Baker: No, not the Wizard of Oz, (spells it) O-Z, the Wizard of Aaahhs. (Draws out the aaahhhhh sound. Then she spells it) A-a-a-h-h-s.

Dorothy: (dumb founded) Are you kidding me? Is this is some kind of joke? Did my mother send you here?

Baker: I don’t even know your mother.

Dorothy: Okay, look lady, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but I want you out of here, now!

Baker: I’m sorry. I was just trying to find the Wizard. Do you know where he is?

Dorothy: I don’t even know who you’re talking about!

Baker: The Wizard of Aahhs. (long and drawn out)

Dorothy: You’re crazy! Now get out of here before I...I... (picks up a picture frame) before I...(unconvincingly shakes it at her) hit you with this....and hurt you...real bad.

Baker: (gasps) Is that a gun?

Dorothy: (looks at it) Yes, it is.

Baker: Oh my!

Dorothy: Great, who could that be? (moves off stage to "answer" the door, before she gets completely off stage she stops, still with the picture frame in hand—she speaks to the Baker) You stay right there for a minute. Just remember, I’m not afraid to use this if I have to. (hold up picture frame, then she exits off stage)

*********************

(later in the skit)

Dorothy: What do you want me to do about it? I don’t know how to find the Wizard!

Neighbor: You have the power Dorothy. Use your slippers.

Dorothy: My slippers?

Baker: Just rub them together.

Dorothy: (taking off the slippers) Okay, I’ll give it a try. (she begins to rub the slippers with her hands) Nothing’s happening.

Teacher: You’ve got to say the magic words!

Dorothy: This is nuts!

Mail lady: Just say it!

Dorothy: (closes her eyes and begins to chant, while rubbing her slippers) There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Wizard: You can stop chanting now--you’ve got my attention.

Dorothy: (opens her eyes and screams) Who are you?

Wizard: I’m the Wizard.

Dorothy: But you’re a woman.

Wizard: So?

Dorothy: I’m sorry, I thought the Wizard was a man.

Wizard: Why would you think that?

Dorothy: Well, given all that you can do I just assumed....(reconsidering) actually, given all that you can do, I don’t know how I ever assumed you were a man!

Wizard: So, what can I do for you today?

Dorothy: I’m very confused.

Wizard: So, I gathered. What can I do to help?