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I've Got a Secret

Host:                Okay panelists, Bob’s got a great secret.  Let’s see if you can figure out what it is.  You may begin. 

Panelist 1:       Bob, does your secret involve adventure? 

Bob:                 (laughs) It depends on who’s calling me that day! 

Panelist 1:       Aha! So, you admit you talk on the phone? 

Bob:                 Yes, quite often. 

Panelist 1:       I see.  Does your secret require a lot of talking on the phone? 

Bob:                 At times, yes. 

Panelist 1:       Do you have a cell phone? 

Bob:                 Yes. 

Panelist 1:       Does it ring a lot? 

Bob:                 Most of the time, yes. 

Panelist 1:       I knew it!  Bob, does this secret require you to be out of the house a lot? 

Bob:                 At times, yes. 

Panelist 1:       Does this secret require you to keep secrets from others, especially other adults?  

Bob:                Yes, I often have to keep knowledge of certain situations and events to myself.  Confidentiality is very important.

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Panelist 1:       Because Bob is on the phone a lot, has iTunes on his cell phone, and he’s frequently out of the house.  He keeps secrets from others, particularly adults, and he likes movies and listens to loud music.  All that adds up to being a teenager!  I’ve got to be right!

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Panelist 1:       What do you mean, you’re a pastor?  You can’t be! 

Bob:                 Why not? 

Panelist 1:       You’re not wearing a suit and tie for one thing.  Don’t all pastors wear a suit?  Isn’t that like a required uniform or something? 

Bob:                 Not necessarily.  I do often wear a suit but I also like to wear jeans too.  

Panelist 1:       I’ve never heard of a pastor wearing jeans! 

Bob:                 In the summer I may even wear shorts! 

(All panelists gasp loudly) 

Man:                Way to go, man! 

Panelist 2:       But you can’t be a pastor—you said you like to go to movies and listen to loud music! 

Bob:                 So? 

Panelist 2:       So, pastors shouldn’t watch movies! 

Bob:                 Why not? 

Panelist 2:       Don’t they corrupt your mind or something? 

Bob:                 Not all of them.  There’s a lot of entertaining movies out there that are fun to watch. 

Panelist 2:       You said you like to laugh too.  Aren’t all pastors serious? 

Bob:                 Not all of them.  Of course there are times when we need to be, but we like to laugh and have fun too, just like anyone else. 

Panelist 3:       You said you liked J.R.R. Tolkein.  

Bob:                 Yeah, he’s one of my favorite authors.  What about him? 

Panelist 3:       But should you really be reading that kind of sci-fi stuff?  Wouldn’t your time be better served reading other books, like, I don’t know… the Bible, maybe? 

Bob:                 I do read the Bible, but I read a lot of other books too.  

Panelist 1:       Speaking of the Bible, where is yours?  I don’t see you carrying it. 

Bob:                 I don’t carry it with me wherever I go, you know.  

Panelist 1:       Why not? 

Bob:                 Do you carry your Bible with you wherever you go? 

Panelist 1:       No that would be ridiculous! 

Bob:                 Then why should I? 

Panelist 1:       Because you’re a pastor!