Striper: (heard from off stage) You want me to do what? No way!

Shem: (heard from off stage) Striper, wait!

Striper: (enters) Uh-uh, you’re crazy!

Ham: Just hear us out, Striper.

Striper: I’ve heard enough, thank you. No way I’m gettin’ into that death trap.

Shem: It’s not a death trap. Actually, it will save your life.

Striper: I own an umbrella—I’d rather take my chances out here than in that thing!

Ham: We don’t have time to argue with you Striper. You’re getting in that ark even if I have to carry you there myself! (reaches for him)

Striper: (quickly turns his tail toward Ham) I wouldn’t do that if I were you. (slowly begins to shake his bottom and tail) This is a lethal weapon and I’m not afraid to use it! (shakes more vigorously)

Needles: (enters) Hey, what’s going on? I could hear you all the way down the trail. (noticing Striper’s movements) Look out! He’s gonna blow! (turns her back as if to hide)

Shem: (to Ham) I told you not to make any sudden movements! What do you think you’re doing? It’s not fresh mountain air that’s gonna come out of there, you know!

Ham: Oh, right. Sorry!

Shem: (trying to calm Striper) Take it easy Striper. No one is going to hurt you. Just settle down now.

Needles: (turning back around) Whew! That was a close one!

Ham: Let’s just talk about this some more.

Needles: Talk about what?

Striper: (to Needles) Porky here...

Ham: The name is Ham.

Striper: Pork, Ham, whatever. (to Needles) This joker seems to think we’re going to get into that big ark over there and go for a ride—a very long ride.

Needles: Oooh, I love rides!

Striper: Well, you’re not gonna love this one, Needles!

Needles: Why not?